The Truth About Exploding Curry...
by KillTenchi
Summary: This story and all of its subsequent chapters is my own version of the way things would have gone down on the day Nanami tried to screw with Anthy's curry! You really have to read the whole thing..
1. Default Chapter

_Note: I guess I have to say here that neither Revolutionary Girl Utena the show, nor the characters belong in any part whatsoever to me. Oh...and...please don't write reviews telling me how much my story sucks okay? I just wrote it for fun...._  
  
  
  
"The Truth About Exploding Curry (Do You Know? Do You Know? Do you know what That Is?)"  
  


  
  
"Utena is Anthy?" exclaims A-ko.  
"And Anthy is Utena?" proclaims B-ko.  
"But how can this be?" they cry together with their hands clasped about their faces in alarm.   
From their secret hideout they had been watching the two best friends imitate each other's personality traits all day. What could have happened that could have caused such a drastic change? Unfortunately, A-ko and B-ko missed the events that led up to this strange mind meld because, due to a runaway prairie dog that maimed them and left them horribly disfigured when they were very young, they never leave the safety of their shadowy abode.   
Suddenly, a rather dorky looking young boy with blue hair and slightly bowed legs comes walking into their vicinity. He is accompanied by a skinny young girl with twitchy eyes and limp blonde hair who keeps looking over her shoulder as though afraid of being followed.   
"Will you stop that Nanami?" the boy asks the girl in a sort of prissy, exasperated voice.  
"I can't! I just know they're going to be after me when they find out!" the girl cries out as she takes one more hurried glance over her shoulder. A-ko and B-ko lean a little further towards the opening of their secret place to try and get a better vantagepoint.  
The young boy takes Nanami by the elbow and steers her to a bench nearby. They sit down together and he takes out a stopwatch.  
"Miki, what are you doing?" Nanami asks him, her eyes growing suspicious.  
"Well, my dear, since you are so sure they are going to come after you, I thought it might be fun to see how long it takes." And with that he hits the button and the watch starts to tick away.  
"That's all the comforting I get? After all that I have been through? I need help and all you want to do is time the last few minutes that I might be alive!" the girl yells, sounding more and more worried with each breath, and continuing to keep a close eye on her surroundings. A-ko and B-ko are very intrigued.  
"What do you take me for? Your big brother? I'm not going to protect you. I don't get into all that chivalry stuff…what if I hurt my hands? I'd never be able to play the piano again…or eat parsley! All you ever think about is yourself, Nanami! You're lucky I even helped you escape after what you did to Miss Utena and Anthy back in cooking class!" Miki gives Nanami a very stern look, and continues to let his watch run.  
Nanami manages to look even more alarmed and grabs Miki around the neck.   
"Oh, Miki! You're so fine! You're so fine…. sometimes you just blow my mind. You're right, I should be grateful to you for helping me. I don't know why I did what I did. I just couldn't help myself. Before I knew what was happening it was over and Utena and Anthy had switched personalities! Oh, what should I do?" With another quick look around Nanami breaks down crying with her arms still clasped around Miki's neck.  
Just then, from around the corner comes a voice.  
"Just what do you think you're doing with my sister, Miki?"   
And then into view walks the most beautiful boy ever to have walked the face of the planet. His hair is a flaming, sultry red, and his eyes are so magnetic that they shine right through the strands of hair that fall across his face. He is tall, with broad shoulders; in fact, he makes such a dashing impression that B-ko almost falls over and out of her hiding place at the sight of him. The boy continues looking at Miki with the expression of one who is truly bewildered.  
"Um….Touga…I didn't see you there…." Miki stammers as he hastily pries Nanami from his shoulders ,"how long have you been standing there?"   
Nanami manages to stop her crying for a moment to look up.  
"Big BROTHER!!!" and with that she jumps up and runs to the god-like creature before her with a complete look of reverence upon her face. "FORGIIIIIIIIVE M-"  
But before she can finish Touga sidesteps and Nanami falls flat on her face in the dirt, which succeeds in rendering her momentarily unconscious.  
Miki stands up hastily.  
"Touga…it wasn't what you thought…really…Nanami is cute…but you know I think YOU'RE cuter…way….WAY cuter…." He takes a hesitant step towards Touga.  
"Stop right there, Miki." Touga says as he holds up his hand, "I meant what were you doing with my sister HERE when she should be in hiding? Everyone is looking for her. Ever since she switched that ancient magic spice with the one Anthy normally uses in her curry and caused all this uproar everything has been going nuts. I mean, I don't know what's going on, but I just saw Utena making shaved ice and Anthy kicking somebody's ass! And there's this elephant…"  
But before Touga can finish Nanami sits up and exclaims," ELEPHANT?!" before promptly passing out again. Both boys look at her for a moment before shrugging their shoulders and carrying on with their conversations.  
By now B-ko and A-ko are so entrenched in what they are listening to that they have hardly noticed that someone ELSE has appeared on the horizon. A girl with orangey, spirally, swirly hair comes walking through the trees and stands behind Touga.  
"I thought I'd find you here, Mr. Student Council President," she says in a snide voice.   
"Not now, Juri," Touga replies without a backward glance. "I have to get my sister out of here," he says. And with that he loads Nanami's still unconscious form onto the sled pulled by a team of beautiful, snowy white dogs that has been set up next to him the whole time (you just didn't see it, okay?) and drives away towards the dueling arena.  
"Tell Utena that if she wants to get back to normal again she will have to duel me tonight!" he calls as he disappears into the darkness of the trees.  
"Well," says Juri with a sneer," that was rude."  
"It wasn't rude at all!" Miki cries out indifferently, and then, in a much softer, awe-struck voice, "it was….chivalrous…." In a flash, he punches the button on his watch and exclcaims,"3 minutes, forty-two seconds!"  
Juri looks at Miki with a very disdainful expression on her face and says," Look, Miki, why don't you just beat it all right? I'm meeting somebody here and I don't want them to see you here and get the wrong impression okay?"  
Looking indignant Miki says," Well, I can take a hint! You don't have to throw at cactus at MY head for me to tell when I'm not wanted!" and stalks off in the direction of the school.  
  



	2. Saionji Makes the Scene...

A-ko and B-ko suddenly realize that they desperately have to pee. A-ko begins to do a little dance, while B-ko tries the squeezing your legs together method of holding it. Both girls' attentions, however, are pulled from their overfull bladders and back out to where Juri is standing when they hear her say…  
"It's about time you got here…I thought I was actually going to have to get bored."  
A tall, slim, strong looking boy with long, evil looking green hair is standing before Juri with a downtrodden look upon his face.  
"I'm sorry, I was trying to find Anthy so I could give her this Valentine's Day card! Every time she sees me she screams, grabs her hair, and runs away! It's very odd, I know our love is hidden, but perhaps she's taken it to extremes…"  
Juri laughs meanly and says," Saionji, are you mad? It's OCTOBER…why are you giving Anthy a Valentine's card now?"  
Saionji looks affronted and replies, "Juri, being the big, ugly, stuck-up bull dyke that you are you would not begin to understand the depths of mine and Anthy's love for each other. For us, every day is Valentine's day. She just seems to have forgot that for the moment. Of course, I'm not worried. I know one day she will openly confess her love for me and all will be revealed to the world."  
Juri yawns loudly. "Whatever. I'm just glad you're here. I just heard that Touga plans on dueling with Utena tonight. But…well, I hate to break this to you…it seems that Utena and Anthy have exchanged personalities due to some faulty curry spice in cooking class."  
Saionji looks momentarily confused, then says, "That's what you wanted to meet me here to tell me?"  
"No, you idiot, I just found that out…what I really wanted to meet you here for was to return the skirt you let me borrow…" Juri casts a piece of clothing in Saionji's direction which he quickly catches.  
"Hey! Don't get that dirty! It's my favorite one!"  
Juri sighs and tries to get through to Saionji by talking very slowly, "Saionji…did you hear me? Utena and Anthy have switched personalities. That was really UTENA you were trying to give a Valentine's card to all day!"  
But Saionji doesn't seem to grasp the full extent of what Juri is saying, and it is all A-ko and B-ko can do not to laugh as he wails in a hurt voice, "Curry?! Anthy never offered to cook me curry! What is it with that Utena? I'll get her if it's the last thing I do! I've got to go ask Anthy about this, Juri…I'll have to see you later…I'll give you a call about going shopping this weekend. Bye!" And he walks back in the direction from which he came leaving Juri in a puzzled state.  
"Well, that's just great. I was hoping he'd help me foul up Touga's plans to gain the power to Revolutionize the World! Just goes to show you can't trust BOYS!" she says to herself before stalking off towards the dueling arena.  
  
  



	3. Enter Chu-Chu...

A-ko and B-ko have been so wrapped up in everything that they have forgotten all about having to pee. A sudden cramping in A-ko's abdomen reminds her very quickly, however, and she resumes dancing.  
"Did you hear? Did you hear? Did you hear what they said?" she asks B-ko while hopping up and down with her legs clenched around each other.  
"Yeah, I heard. I heard what they said. It was Nanami who started all of this with Anthy and Utena…but who will finish it? Do you know, do you know? Do you know who will?" B-ko stammers while desperately trying to keep from wetting herself.   
  
A-ko and B-ko are in such dire straights that they fail to realize they are no longer alone. Right outside their secret place sits a little, purple, monkey-like creature with big ears. He is sobbing uncontrollably into a big checkered hanker chief. Their attentions are drawn to him only when his crying becomes so overwhelming to him that he starts to shake with emotion.  
"Oh….look….do you see? Do you see? A little monkey is lost on his own!" whispers A-ko.  
"Yes…but why? Do you know? Do you know?" B-ko asks.  
"Chu-chu! There you are. I have been looking for you everywhere," says a sweet voice that sounds like Anthy, but isn't. Utena Tenjou, an amazingly beautiful young girl with rose colored hair steps into view. However, her normally strong posture and upheld chin are nowhere in sight. Instead, she stands in a demure fashion more characteristic of one who is used to doing what she is told. Chu-chu takes one mournful look at her and bursts into a new torrent of tears.  
"Oh, Chu-chu, don't cry!" and with that what appears to be Utena on the outside squats down next to Chu-chu on the ground and scoops him up into her arms. He squirms and tries to get away, but she holds fast to his little body.  
"Anthy, what are you doing? I have been trying to find you," says Utena in Anthy's body who has just walked around the corner.   
"I was looking for Chu-Chu, Miss Utena…he's terribly upset about something," Anthy in Utena's body replies.   
"Anthy" cracks her knuckles and sighs loudly, "He's upset because he can't tell which one of us is which, and to tell you the truth I'm getting a little confused myself!"  
Chu-Chu manages to wiggle free and plummets to the ground only to be saved at the last minute by a funny looking pink crocodile thing that is sitting at "Utena"'s feet eating a bunch of grapes.   
"Utena" smiles sweetly and giggles, "Oh, Chu-Chu, you needn't be afraid. Come now, we'll go home and have some lovely shaved ice!"  
"Anthy! Is that all you can think about?! Don't you even CARE that we have somehow switched bodies?" "Anthy" slams her fist against a nearby tree; A-ko and B-ko almost pee their pants.  
"Oh, Miss Utena…I don't really mind being trapped in your body. Maybe now I'll actually get a date besides Saionji! Plus, if I'm you maybe I can stop watering roses all day and do something fun like start a punk band! The possibilities are endless!" Anthy in Utena's body smiles sweetly at her friend. Utena in Anthy's body stares in disbelief at what she has just heard.  
"You don't mean to tell me that you're not going to try and give me my body back, do you Anthy? Because if that's what you're saying than it's on and I'm going to kick your ass right now." "Anthy" balls up her fists and takes a step towards "Utena".  
"No! No! That's not what I'm saying Miss Utena! Not at all! I am still engaged to you, and if you wish me to return your body to you, and if it is at all possible than I will when the time comes. I was just saying how nice it would be to not have to worry about whether or not the sword of Dios is going to get STUCK in my chest during one of these duels." The real Anthy looks sadly at the ground where Chu-Chu and his little pink alligator friend are sleeping together peacefully.  
"I know you're not happy being the Rose Bride, Anthy….but what can I do about it except continue these duels? Anyway, enough about you….how am I going to get my body back? I just KNOW it was Nanami who did this, and when I find her she is in for it!" "Anthy" takes out a pair of brass knuckles (where was she keeping them?) and puts them on while grimacing in an evil fashion.  
"Um…Miss…Utena?" comes a small voice from the shadows.  
"Who's there?" Utena (still in Anthy's body, of course) asks. There's a slight rustling of leaves as a small blonde boy comes squirming out from the bushes.  
"Mitsuru! What are you doing here…hey! How long have you been there anyway?" "Anthy" asks the young boy.  
"Long enough to know that it was, in fact, Miss Nanami who caused all this trouble. I saw her big brother take her off towards the dueling arena saying something about you having to duel with him in order to straighten all of this out." Mitsuru stands with his hands behind his back and his eyes to the ground as he relates his story. "Anthy" is suspicious.  
"Why are you telling us this, Mitsuru? I would think that you would do anything to protect Nanami from the butt whooping that I am going to give her for doing this." She says.  
"Well," he answers, "for the longest time I have wanted to be Miss Nanami's big brother so that I could protect her and take care of her just like all the other cool big brothers that I have seen. But every time she gets herself into trouble I am always too late to help her because TOUGA is always there first! It pisses me off! So, I have decided to take my services where there is a greater need. I want to be YOUR big brother, Miss Utena!" He now smiles sweetly at Utena in Anthy's body, but then looks sort of confused as he looks at Anthy in Utena's body. "Of course, it's sort of confusing to me right now because I have to protect your body," he points at "Utena","and your mind," he points at "Anthy". "But I don't mind! What are big brothers for, right?"  
"Anthy" sighs heavily, and rolls her eyes, " Well, that's nice Mitsuru but I think I can take care of myself. So, Touga wants a duel, huh? Well then he's going to get it. I have had a BAD day and I don't feel like taking any of his "chivalry" crap! Forget about knocking off his rose, I'm going to shove it right up his butt! Come on Anthy, let's get to the dueling arena. You can come too, Mitsuru, there might be a kangaroo or something for you to fight."  
The three of them troop off together in the direction that Touga went with Nanami's limp body earlier. Chu-Chu is still asleep with his new friend.  



	4. Let The Games Begin...

Now A-ko and B-ko face a serious dilemma. How are they going to see the outcome of this riveting tale?   
"Oooh! I know, I know! I know how we will!" exclaims A-ko.  
"How? How? How will we?" responds B-ko.  
"We'll watch it all on the television connected to the hidden cameras we had installed for all those scandalous video tapes we likes to make and then sell on E-Bay!" says A-ko.  
"Why didn't I think of that?!" squeals B-ko.  
Both girls turn behind them and switch on a television that shows the dueling arena. Excited, they squeeze closer to the screen.   
There, sitting in what looks to be a rocker recliner in the middle of the dueling arena, is Nanami; apparently still unconscious. A-ko and B-ko search around desperately to see if there is anyone else around, but it looks to be Nanami and only Nanami.  
"Well, this is certainly BORING!" exclaims A-ko.  
"Shhhhhh! Look!" B-ko whispers as she points out activity on the screen.  
Touga drags a small table into view and situates it next to Nanami. On it he places three glasses of some sort of iced drink. He smiles to himself and, after seeing that everything is just the way he likes it, he faces the entrance to the dueling arena and waits with his arms crossed.  
Suddenly Anthy and Utena appear with Mitsuru right behind them. They all look to be extremely out of breath, and poor Mitsuru is bent over double with exertion.   
"Who in the HELL put all those stairs there?" he cries.  
Anthy (whom we all know by now is really Utena) is about to answer him, but is distracted when she notices Nanami. Anthy's eyes narrow at the sight of her, and her fists clench. Without giving Mitsuru time to ask any more questions, or even get out of her way for that matter, Anthy tramples over him with a primal scream of rage and races towards her prey.  
She is almost there when Touga steps in front of her and blocks her path with his big manly body. He grasps her arms to keep her from accidentally punching him in the eye and laughs disdainfully at her pathetic anger.  
"What a fool you are. Don't you know that Nanami cannot be touched until you have dueled with me? It's all been decreed by Ends Of The World. There's nothing you can do about it, I'm sorry to say." He gives Anthy a semi-sweet, fake sincere smile and turns away, leaving her standing in shock where she is. Still with his back to her he takes about ten paces before drawing a sword (from where we don't know…maybe he had it in his pocket?) and turning to point it at her. In a deeply serious voice he says, "Now, are you ready to face me? Show me the power!"  
Anthy and Utena look at each other with sudden realization on their faces. Touga is serious about the duel, but which one of them will have to fight him? Anthy's body belongs to the Rose Bride, and must be used to produce the Sword of Dios…but that would mean ANTHY would have to duel with Touga in UTENA'S body!   
Utena's body looks at Touga who is waiting in his best, most coolest fighting stance, and then back to "Anthy".   
"Oh no…I can't…Miss Utena…I can't fight Master Touga! I don't know how to do anything except take care of the roses! I was just kidding about wanting my own life earlier….I want my own body back! I hate having to think for myself!" Utena's eyes begin to fill up with tears, but "Anthy" will have none of it.  
"Look, this isn't easy for me either! Do you think I want to have a SWORD ripped out of my chest?""Anthy" cries to "Utena", "I could kick Touga's red-headed, chivalrous ASS if it was me who was going to fight him! But it's not. YOU have to do it, and I know you can. He must have had this in his plan all along, well we can't let him win! Now let's get to it!" "Anthy" strides over to where "Utena" is standing with her shoulders slumped and a scared expression in her eyes. "Anthy" grasps "Utena" by the hand and drags her into the middle of the dueling arena, and they both face Touga.  
But the duel doesn't commence because out of nowhere comes a big, industrial strength flashlight which is flying straight towards Touga's head. He ducks just before it hits and stands back up in time to see young Mitsuru standing off to the side arguing with Miki.  
"That was MY shining thing! MY shining thing, not YOURS….MINE! How could you throw it at Touga like that?" Miki is yelling right in Mitsuru's face, "You ought to have more respect for the Student Council President, and ME for that matter!"  
Mitsuru doesn't look the least bit sorry as he says," He's trying to take advantage of Miss Utena's precarious situation and as her new big brother it is my duty to protect her! Now get out of my way you piano-pansy before I write a minuet on your face with my fist!" At these last words Miki looks startled, and then a little nervous. After a moment's thought he smiles sheepishly and sort of mumbles and apology before running off into the darkness while crying like a little girl.  
Mitsuru looks at Utena and Anthy," Never fear! I am here! And I won't let this pumped up playboy hurt you!" With those brave words just leaving his lips he charges toward Touga as fast as he can, but Touga makes no move to run. At first Anthy and Utena wonder why, but then they see the truth of the situation as Mitsuru nears him. Mitsuru only comes up to Touga's knee! Despite his….uh…short comings, young Mitsuru fights bravely; both kicking and punching, and even biting once until he tires himself out to the point of fainting.   
Touga yawns outlandishly and kicks Mitsuru's body out of the way, "Shall we commences with the duel, or do you have more pre-school body guards on the way?"  
It takes Anthy and Utena a minute before they can stop laughing hysterically, but finally they regain their composure.   
"We can take you, even in this condition, Touga!" Fake Anthy yells, "And after I get you I am going to put snails in your sister's pencil-box!" Fake Utena tries to look sinister in order to back up her friend's harsh words, but she can't make her face do anything but smile sweetly, so instead she sticks out her tongue and pulls down her lower left eyelid.  
Touga laughs as though Anthy and Utena are either very funny, or very stupid.   
"Alright! Enough fooling around, are you ready Anthy?" Fake Anthy asks Fake Utena.  
"Um….I suppose…."Fake Utena doesn't look too certain, but Fake Anthy figures it's now or never.  
"Here goes…."Fake Utena says in a meek voice,"Um…Grant me the…uh…Power….to um….Bring the World Revolution….please?" Fake Anthy suddenly finds herself falling backwards; falling, falling, falling; and she has this funny sort of feeling in her chest. She has just enough time to marvel at the fact that this must be the way the real Anthy feels before every duel before her butt hits the ground and she finds herself staring up the Fake Utena's nose.  
"I cannot believe you dropped me!" Utena whispers to Anthy in Utena's body," Let's try this again, okay? BRACE yourself!"  
Several attempts later, Fake Utena finally catches Fake Anthy and reaches for the thing sticking out of her chest…except that it's not a sword…in fact, it's not a weapon at all. It appears to be a great, big, silver…watering can!   
Fake Anthy is aghast at what was just pulled from her chest, and Anthy trapped in Utena's body is even more so considering this is all she has to protect herself from Touga's evil swordsmanship. What is she to do?  
Everyone but A-ko and B-ko in their secret hide-out are too distracted by this latest development to notice two people, one practically dragging the other, coming in from the opening to the stairs. It is Juri and Saionji, and A-ko and B-ko can just make out what they are saying.  
"Come ON! Really, I don't see what the big deal is, I told you it would be worth your while. Why are you being so incredibly difficult?" Juri is whispering angrily to Saionji who seems too distracted to notice what's going on or where he is being dragged.  
"I have to find Anthy. I haven't see her in a whole HOUR…I think I'm breaking out in hives from withdrawal!" Poor Saionji does indeed look very upset, his eyes are bulging and his forehead has a thin film of sweat on it as though he was breaking out in a fever. He almost wriggles out of Juri's grasp but, well, let's face it, Juri probably has more muscles in her left lower forearm than ALL of the RGU boys have in their whole bodies combined, and she manages to hold fast to him despite his attempts to flee. But he does continue his mumblings about Anthy until Juri finally reaches her destination. She places our dazed Saionji right in view of the dueling arena where Touga has given up on waiting and is charging both Utena and Anthy who don't even notice him because they are still discussing the watering can and where it came from.  
Needless to say, Saoinji looks up from his mumbled tirade just in time to see his beloved Anthy is in the line of fire. He quickly pulls out a sword (don't ask, we don't KNOW where he got it, okay?) and runs toward Utena and Anthy screaming, " I will save you my LOOOOOOVE!"  
The two girls look up just in time to see Saionji intercept Touga just as he was about to strike. Their swords clash and both boys glare at each other over their weapons.   
"Picking on poor defenseless girls who don't have decent weapons belongs to ME, Kiouichi Saionji! You're supposed to be the chivalrous one around here, Touga! Now keep away from Anthy! She's my secret love!" Saionji snarls. Touga doesn't say anything, but he does manage to look sinister and gorgeous all at the same time, and hey, that's all he needs to do, right?   
Saionji begins to gain the upper hand, and is about to force Touga to the ground when lo and behold! Nanami is awake!  
"You leave my brother alone!" she screams, and looking almost like Miss Piggy, complete with bulging eyes and frizzy blonde hair, she snatches the watering can from Fake Utena and starts to beat Saionji over the head with it.   
Being banged on the head with the watering can jars Saionji so badly that his whole body shakes, causing his sword to vibrate against Touga's. The vibration compiled with the two swords clashing against one another somehow causes sparks to begin flying, and just as Anthy and Utena manage to subdue Nanami, Touga's hair catches on fire.  
"Oh, baby! You've lit the fire in my hair!!" Touga screams as he dances around trying to put it out. Nanami squeals (again…very pig-like) and pulls away from her captors long enough to begin slapping Touga over the head in an attempt to put out the flames, her own hair catches fire in the process but she just tears off her wig (!)and throws it aside without thinking. However, her slapping technique isn't working and the flames only get higher and higher until Utena (who is really Anthy remember) picks up the watering can and douses Touga's head with what smells a lot like rose water.   
Saionji, who has been trying to keep his own lovely locks from catching flame by staying far away from the burning Touga smiles brightly and walks toward what he thinks is Anthy with arms outstretched.  
"Come to me, my love, I have saved you! Now you can declare your love for me!" he says. Anthy who is really Utena gets a horrified, disgusted, and altogether terribly frightened look on her face at the very idea of having to hug Saionji; but she is saved when he slips in the water that has pooled on the ground from the watering can and knocks himself unconscious.  
From the ground behind Utena and Anthy comes sudden screaming, "Oh Dear God! The Horror! I think I'm going to be sick!"  
It is Mitsuru screaming in disgust from the place where Touga kicked his unconscious form before the duel. He is staring at Touga and Nanami as he bursts into tears and begins vomiting all over himself.  
Utena and Anthy look to see the cause of his distress. Both of them cry out as they get a good look at Nanami. During the fight with the fire she lost the wig that nobody knew she wore, and now she has forgotten that she's not wearing it in her concern for her brother. Even A-ko and B-ko gasp from their hidden place as they realize that Nanami is completely and utterly bald with the exception of one tuft of red hair on the very top and a Pink Power Ranger tattoo on the back of her head. The silence is deafening as she realizes her mistake and turns around to see everyone staring at her. Quickly she begins scrambling for her blonde wig in a lame attempt to restore her former cuteness, but her wig is so burned that it looks more like a coon skin cap than her blonde hair. Utterly broken and ashamed, she drops her scorched wig and runs crying from the arena. Touga is left lying on the ground in a heap.  
After Utena and Anthy have stopped their incredible bought of laughing Utena (still in Anthy's body, unfortunately) walks over to Touga and kneels down to inspect his wounds. Most of his hair has burned away, but, not surprisingly, short hair looks really good on him. Utena even begins to notice that with short hair he sort of resembles her prince…just as she is discarding that idea with a laugh she notices that up close his hair color looks incredibly brassy and fake…and that it looks like he has white roots!  
"You are my prince!!" Utena in Anthy's body exclaims," Gross!! You can't be my prince! You're a male slut!"  
Touga's eyes open and he looks at her," Yes, I am your prince from so long ago. I had to dye my hair red and move to this school because of all the angry boyfriends of girls that I'd dated. You don't know the number of big burly men who want to kick my lily-white ass. I ran into you on the road I was taking out of town. I gave you the ring to keep you quiet in case anybody asked you about seeing me, and I kissed you because…well…I never could resist a pretty face," he winks at her in a completely male chauvinistic way, "So….now that you know….what are you going to do?" He looks at her longingly with those big pretty eyes….right before she punches him.  
"Whoo-hoo!" Fake Anthy yells, " I don't have to stay at this lousy school any more! I just found out my prince is a total loser! What the hell am I doing here? I'm going to Disney World!" Fake Anthy does the cabbage patch in circles all around Touga as he lies on the ground in agony from her roundhouse punch. She is so gleeful that she almost doesn't hear Fake Utena calling her.  
"What is it Anthy? I'm celebrating here." Utena in Anthy's body asks.  
"Well, I really just had two concerns, Miss Utena." She replies, "Number one, um…well….we are still in the wrong bodies. And…um…number two…what are we going to do with him?" Fake Utena looks uncertain as she points to Saionji's still unconscious form lying on the ground at her feet. Fake Anthy looks around to find somebody to help them get him down the stairs but it appears that everyone has left except for the three of them.  
"It wouldn't be right just to leave him up here after he tried to help us…well…you actually…." Fake Anthy says, "But I don't exactly feel like carrying him…I've got to find Nanami and make her change us back! What are we going to do with him?"  
"Oh, don't you worry about him, girls. He's MINE." Says a voice from behind them.   
Anthy and Utena turn around to see Wakaba standing in full dominatrix gear at the door to the arena. She carries a whip in her hands, and is wearing a black pair of combat boots.  
"I have been looking for his sweet little ass all day." she says. With an evil smirk she walks over to his body and kicks him awake. Upon seeing her Saionji starts to cry like a two-year-old. "Quit that sniveling!" Wakaba barks at him, "How did you get off your leash? I came home from classes and you were gone! Now start going!" She cracks her whip and Saionji starts crawling toward the door, whimpering all the way.   
"Thanks ladies!," Wakaba calls over her shoulder as she and her "pet" leave.  
Utena and Anthy just stare at each other in wonder, as do A-ko and B-ko back at their hideout.  
  
  
  



	5. Epilogue...

Anthy and Utena eventually got switched back. It seems that Nanami's magic ancient curry was only the 24-hour formula, so they woke up the next morning perfectly fine. Utena and Anthy snuck off together to some unknown exotic destination where they could live in peace without ever thinking about rose brides or duels again. It's rumored that they opened a whorehouse somewhere in South America and Anthy has been racking up business ever since.   
There's an ad in the Hotori Academy Times asking any parties interested in the Rose Bride Position to please see the Student Council President in his dorm room between 6p.m. and 10 a.m.; it's recommended that those who are REALLY interested bring eggs so that they can make them for breakfast...Touga has a thing for eggs.  
Nanami on the other hand was too ashamed to ever go back to classes again. She did go to a doctor though, and now she's the spokesman for a very well known hair-growth formula….maybe you've seen her on T.V.? She's not only the president….  
Mitsuru and Miki have become friends, and Mitsuru has been teaching Miki some self-defense moves. Miki has even gotten himself a new digital stopwatch, with a touch screen and sound effects. He's gotten to like it so much that he's even given it a name: Shiori. Juri is desperately jealous of it, and has even taken a newspaper ad clipping with a picture of it and stuck it in her locket.  
Speaking of Juri, you're probably all wondering what happened to her during the fiasco of a duel on that fateful day. Well, she had to run because there was a rally in a nearby town involving another group that Juri is involved in: Dykes on Bikes.  
No one has heard from Saionji in several months...but the author would like to note that sources say Wakaba has been seen recently buying several yards of rope and a pair of hand-cuffs...  
A-ko and B-ko finally decided to go to the bathroom. In fact, as they were going in the bushes outside of their hide-out they noticed Chu-Chu still asleep with his Alligator friend and since neither of the two girls had had fresh meat for such a long time….well….I'll let your imaginations take it from there….  
  
  


The End.  


  
  
  
  
_This is the end of my first ever fan-fic. I have never written one before this, and I don't know if this is even what a fan-fic is supposed to be...but I'm a fan of Utena, and this is fiction based on the show, so I figured it would work. :) _


End file.
